There are many different types of education choices. When considering which experience is best for your family, there are many things to consider. As Christian parents we look at each individual child’s spiritual maturity, educational needs, learning style, and personality. We also look at our financial situation, lifestyle and family dynamics. Each educational choice will have its own pros and cons and these will vary for each child and family. There is not a one-size-fits-all for every family and for every child within the same family.
Although Ellie is only in 4th grade and J is in 2nd, I feel like we’ve already had quite a journey with education. Dennis and I are both educators. He taught in public high school for many years and is now at a Christian high school. I taught in Christian school for almost nine years before Ellie was born. There were/are both good and bad experiences for both of us in both types of settings. From the time Ellie was a toddler, I felt led to homeschool her. We had our “school time” almost daily and enjoyed it. Then we began to reach a point where she wasn’t taking instruction from me very well. We decided to delegate some of her education to another teacher.
In retrospect, I feel that maybe we gave in to our daughter’s sinful nature. She was really strong-willed for a time at home, but very obedient and respectful at both school and church. Our relationship needed work, and instead of facing it and working through it, we avoided it by sending her to school. On the other hand, the years that she was in school gave me time alone with Josh. If Ellie had remained at home, I wouldn’t have had that one-on-one time with him. It was a special experience for him and me. At the time, the decision to send Ellie to school was mutual between Dennis and I and Ellie expressed a desire to attend as well.
For us, public school has not been a consideration. As we have evaluated the things listed above for our children, we do not feel public school will best meet our children’s needs and family goals. So we chose to send Ellie to a Christian school. Her PreK through 1st grade years were very good. She had spiritually mature teachers who were experienced and loving, had good classroom management, and made the school experience very positive for all of us. The students Ellie was in class with were very friendly and kind, respectful and very enjoyable to be around. I personally enjoyed volunteering in her classroom and being on the school campus. Ellie enjoyed attending Chapel and participating in the school programs. The Christian school environment served us well for this season.
Josh attended the same Christian school for PreK. He had the same teachers Ellie had so it was a familiar environment for all of us. Josh had a rough start to attending school though as he has a very sensitive nature; but over time he grew comfortable and enjoyed the experience.
Mid-way through his PreK year, however, I began to feel uneasy about sending Josh to kindergarten and desired to homeschool him. I knew he could handle the academics of kindergarten, but I didn’t feel he could handle the extended hours of a full school day. He had been looking forward to having Ellie’s kindergarten teacher, but as we talked about what kindergarten would be like, he changed his mind. He didn’t want to take a nap at school. He said he wanted to take a nap at home. This one fact cemented his decision and he was on-board with home schooling. Dennis and I, however, did not agree. He felt that Josh should go to school. We discussed it and both prayed about it. The morning the day before registration was due, I gave it up to the Lord. I said I would fill out the paperwork that night and register him for kindergarten the next day out of obedience to my husband. Well, the Lord agreed with me too! That evening Dennis came home and said he’d been thinking and praying about it and he felt I should home school Josh for kindergarten. So our home schooling journey began!
While Ellie’s first three years of Christian school ended up being good, her 2nd grade year was not a positive one for us and had a great deal to do with our decision to home school her for 3rd grade. We were dealing with Dennis' cancer diagnosis and treatment throughout the entire year which affected our experience somewhat. But there was just a real change in the dynamics of her class. Her teacher came across as unprofessional and did not command the respect of the students. She chose not to be involved in relationship/behavior issues that occurred. This was compounded by staff changes which affected playground supervision. The students began to become disrespectful, there was a great deal of conflict among the girls, bullying began among the boys, and a sense of worldliness entered the classroom atmosphere. We began to see this negatively affecting Ellie. Twice during the year we seriously discussed bringing her home, but decided it best to have her finish the year due to the medical things we were facing at home.
Ellie had been resistant to homeschooling all the years previous to this. She liked the social environment and said she wanted to be with her friends. It bothered me that she valued her friendships at school over her family relationships, but since they had not been impacting her negatively, we were comfortable with the school environment. Dennis and I began to pray about and discuss homeschooling Ellie. At Christmas time she and I went out together and I explained to her why I wanted to home school her. I shared with her that I liked being with her and missed her during the day, that I wanted to be able to teach her at her own pace, that we would have greater flexibility due to a shorter school day and no homework, that we would have a more relaxed time in the morning and simply that it would be a fun experience. After considering it, she came to me and said she wanted to be home schooled the next year. I was thrilled!
Homeschooling Josh for kindergarten had been a breeze. He was very easy to work with and enjoyed the experience we had together. His flexibility was a real blessing as we did a lot of back-and-forth to UCI. Many days we did school in the car while waiting for Dennis to have treatment. He is very relational, and the time we had together filled his love tank It was an added bonus that he got to spend so much time with his dad as Dennis was home with us. Another great thing was that we were schooling with our church’s home school group. The added support of our friends and church body through Dennis' illness was very helpful. I think the only negative thing about our year was that I didn’t feel like I could be really creative because we were “on the go” so much.
I will say that the Christian school was also very supportive of us during the year. Our family was prayed for, Ellie’s absences were accepted and her teacher was good about getting us the work she would be missing while she was out. But we still felt led to make a change for Ellie the following year.
We chose to register with a different PSP that better fit our needs and personality and we began our first year of homeschooling as a threesome. I began with excitement and high ideals; but nothing the first month really went the way I had hoped. It was rough. Ellie needed time to adjust to being home. I had to learn how to juggle two grades. I prayed and read and reflected and was led to first come up with a schedule to help get us into a routine. This ordered our day and helped a great deal. Gradually I was able to relax the schedule and just follow the routine in a more relaxed way. For example, I wrote the day’s assignments on the board and after we did Bible together I let the kids choose the order they did the rest.
Things improved. We found we were well suited for this homeschooling lifestyle - getting up when we were ready and having a relaxed morning routine, choosing the order of our subjects, taking a morning walk, enjoying trips to the library and outings in the early afternoon, a relaxed bedtime, the kids played soccer, Ellie and Josh began to develop a friendship, I loved being able to plan and teach my own children, we were able to do some wonderful field trips, and I found myself much more relaxed and patient with my kids than ever before. The time together had a very positive impact on our relationships. One of the best things was having the freedom to enjoy a family day at least once a month when Dennis had his follow-up doctor appointments. We often did school work at Krispy Kreme while waiting for him and then spent the remainder of the day at Disneyland.
While many good things were taking place, the situation was not perfect. I realized that I was finding ways to enhance Josh’s curriculum because I felt it was too simple for him, but keeping Ellie confined to the textbook. She was bored and bothered that Josh got to do “fun” things. Josh was a very focused worker and would usually finish before Ellie. This bothered her greatly. Spelling was a challenge for Ellie and writing was difficult for Josh. I also became aware that school time did not count as quality time with my kids. I needed to be more purposeful in enjoying “downtime” with them. I needed to let some things go in order to better take advantage of this time we had together. And I made the mistake of trying to cram in some things the last few weeks so I could feel more accomplished. The last few weeks were a struggle for us and I feared that Ellie would be wishing she could go back to school. But to my relief, Ellie assured me that she wanted to continue homeschooling. Josh informed me that he wanted to homeschool all through school as well. I am willing! We’ll continue to pray each year and see how God leads us.
I began to pray about and research different things for our current school year. I had been using all Abeka because it was what we were familiar with. I was introduced to Apologia’s science curriculum and decided to do the astronomy unit with both kids. It included what I was looking for - writing, activities and projects. I knew I wanted to study California history with Ellie and found Beautiful Feet, a literature-based curriculum, that also gives us the writing and activities I was looking for. She will in fact create a notebook on her subject this year. I will still use the Abeka history for Josh, but will again supplement for him and have him create a notebook as well. We will continue with Abeka for math and language. Josh will read the Abeka readers for 2nd grade, but Ellie’s reading will be books related to California history such as “Island of the Blue Dolphins” and “Patty Reed’s Doll”. We had already discovered Kay Arthur’s inductive Bible studies for kids last year and will continue with the book of John this year. I am growing in the area of curriculum choice as I become more open to exploring the different options available. That too is a great thing about homeschooling - the chance to try out different styles and see what fits best. I hope this year we will find our “groove”.
We’ve completed two days. There have been tears and tempers. I’ve been disappointed in my children and they in me. But there has also been reconciliation, teamwork and fun. My daughter made me a card “just because (she) loves me” and my son told me I was the best mom in the universe.
I am glad that I didn’t have to take my kids school shopping for new clothes, backpacks and lunch boxes. I don’t have to experience busy mornings getting the kids ready for school and out the door on time. I don’t have to say goodbye to them each morning and be away from them for six hours each day. I don’t have to pick them up in the afternoon tired from the day and then face homework. We can participate in activities without rushing from school and worrying how to squeeze in homework. I can “chaperone” every field trip and enjoy the experience with my kids. I can be in their “classroom” everyday. My kids are being taught to their learning style and at their pace. And they do all this while still being “socialized” through various activities with their home school group, at church, with family members, and in the community. (This is only my perspective on these things.)
These things all come at my own personal expense. But I gladly give up working outside the home (this remains an option at this time); cleaning, shopping and getting my haircut alone; going out for breakfast with friends or participating in other activities for the opportunity to be home with my children. The Lord may very well change our circumstances or lead us to make a different educational choice in the future. Or the day will come, sooner than I expect it, when the kids will be looking at colleges or choosing careers, and moving out of our home. These days are precious and I am grateful for the opportunity to spend them in this way for now. The journey will be interesting. I know there will continue to be challenges and disappointments as well as joys and triumphs. But wherever we find ourselves at the end, I know it will have been worth it all.
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